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The Last Bastion of America's Liberal Media

1 Sep 2003

Turd of the Week

Chuck Krauthammer,
we don't usually award the weekly sneaker tread clogger to media scum, but your quote
to the right, deserves el Turdo for its eloquent encapsulation of American arrogance.

Blabbering Bush Head

Click head for fresh random quote from
Jacob Weinberg's The Complete Bushisms
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Iraq War Cost
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Civilian casualties update
This data is an accounting of civilian deaths in Iraq to date.
See Iraqbodycount.net for statistical methodologies


Growing fat off juicy Iraqi rebuildin' contracts. Did you know the bin Laden group is one of our top investors?

screw all the other stockholders, we're cashing out!

Hey, what do you know? We make money from American militarily screwed up countries in the Middle East!

We're already negotiating with the “new Iraqi democracy” for oil rights!

Selling weapons all over the globe to ensure civilian death and instability which in turn ensures a strong market for years and years...



In Their Own Words...

"America today is the closest the world has ever seen to God." Charles Krauthammer, Time Magazine, September 1, 2003

"A public library should not be a safe haven for terrorists." Justice Department spokesdemon Mark Corallo on Patriot Act II, Washington Post, August 26, 2003

"Now that the courts have dismissed the GAO lawsuit and GAO has issued its final report, we hope that everyone will focus as strongly as the administration has on meeting America's energy needs." Cheney spokes-schill Jennifer Millerwise, responding to outrage that Cheney refused to disclose meeting materials and findings demanded by the General Accounting Office for investigating charges of impropriety by the White House Energy Commission.

There is no Greenhouse Affect.

  • Carbon Dioxide is not a problem.
  • Letting plants upgrade equipment that is every bit as polluting as the old equipment will improve air quality.
  • Allowing massive deforestation of national forests will save them.
  • The free market provides the checks and balances to keep air and water quality in check.

There is no scientific basis for these Bush administration claims. But who needs science when you've got a short-sighted blend of blind capitalism and co-opted religion? The Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act, the National Environmental Policy Act are all being gutted by the Bush Administration so that l7,000 power plants can create more pollution in our water, in our air and on our planet. Now, the Bush administration is claiming they that it lacks the necessary authority to regulate carbon dioxide (Never mind that it claims the authority to rule the world). The EPA's General Counsel, the aptly named Robert Fabricant says "Because the [Clean Air Act] does not authorize regulation to address climate change, it follows that [carbon dioxide] and other [greenhouse gases], as such, are not air pollutants."

Contrast this with Bush's 2000 campaign promises to tighten the Clean Air Act and reduce carbon dioxide. How did this liar get the rep as a do-what-you-say-you'll-do-guy?

But it's not just the Executive branch. The Senate Environment and Public Works Committee chair James Inhofe of Oklahoma, characterizes the Environmental Protection Agency as "Gestapo."

The party that once included Teddy Roosevelt, arguably the leading environmental president of all time has sold out to corporate and neo-Christian interests. Even the much reviled Richard Nixon signed significant environmental legislation into law, including the very Clean Air Act that Bush is gutting. But the real change began with James Watt, whose brand of Christianity included a fundamental belief that Christ's resurrection is imminent, so conservation is an unnecessary self-imposed restraint. Wow. Gail Norton, his protégé, now Bush's Interior head is every bit as aggressive as Watt in pushing to give our countries national resources to corporate interests.

Bush is quickly building a legacy based on destroying things - Afghanistan, Iraq, social programs, the budget and the environment.

Remember when America made things? ...Sigh...

Military Power for Hire
Increasingly, the State Department is outsourcing military operations to Mercenary forces. Sure, there is a long history of civilians working for the military, but until recently, it has been in non-combat, non-strategic roles. In many parts of the world, including the middle east, covert operations are being handled by Assassins, Inc. (not their real name, but is that a registered domain name yet? Oops, it is, and it's freakin' scary!).

Why outsource when you're the closest thing the world has seen to God? Well, it's an issue of accountability of methods and ethical responsibility. One outsources a task with deliverables in mind only. How the lucky contract recipient gets the job done is their business. More and more operations are being handled in America's name by forces that are above any law, and not just American law. Contracted forces in Bosnia were discovered to be running a little child prostitution ring on the side. Upon discovery by Bosnian authorities, the contracting firm yanked those involved and shipped them out of range of the Bosnian legal system. Bosnia protested to America, but we shrugged. Not our problem. Not our forces.

Now we're seeing more and more assassins for hire in Afghanistan, Iraq and you can bet they're working on the plum Syria, Iran and PDRK gigs. That's some sweet ass money.

Our Shiite Sunni Civil War
A neighborhood pottery store has a sign near the entrance that reads "You break it, you own it"

Oh sure, we never intended for Operation Iraqi Liberation to turn into Operation Religious War (or did we?...), but Friday's news of the assassination of a major Iraqi Shia ayatollah and at least 80 others is quickly enflaming the anarchy that consumes Iraq. Of course, Saddam and/or Al Qaeda are being blamed (makes you consider the possibility that their capture is being deliberately bungled), but as we continue to insist here at crap-sickened global headquarters, it is just another part of OUR mess. The horrors of the chaos are ours to deal with and we are clearly failing. At what point does the White House own up to the growing holocaust of its incompetence?

Fear not, for we are told that everything is going according to plans (which cannot be enumerated) within budget (which was never stated) and on schedule (which isn't known). Bush must be dethroned for this. Even the Republican hegemony over all three branches of government and the fourth estate cannot hide his gross incompetence, which seems a petty term for such an egregious abuse of America's power to the detriment of billions around the world.

Leading flypaper theorist point to the imprimatur of Al Qaeda and congratulate themselves. "See, we told you those guys were all intermingled in Iraq." The desperation of justification would be pathetic, if our pity weren't squandered on the people of Iraq and our poor soldiers dropped into the pits of hell as veterans' benefits are cut to the bone and combat pay is reduced.

Halliburton Gets $1,700,000,000 of our Descendants' Money
Dick Cheney's corporate interests have finally been sharply quantified, at least the first bit fat juicy chunk of no-bid-here-ya-go-wink-wink taxpayer largesse. This is for logistical support in the quest for WMD, meal service, oil field rehab work, mail delivery. The reasoning for not putting it up for competitive bidding? National Security. Yep, heaven help us if terrorists learn the amount of mail or food being delivered to troops and where the oil fields are.

Don't worry penny-pinchers, there is a $7,000,000,000 limit to the otherwise open ended no-bid contract, otherwise known as Logistics Civil Augmentation Program, or LOGCAP. But my friends, don't consider that all that money is just profit for the stockholders. Nope, a good chunk of that will end up in the coffers of the GOP as they skirt the campaign laws by eschewing matching funds in favor of good old fashion graft in the bazillions.


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