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The Last Bastion of America's Liberal Media

3 Nov, 2003

Turd of the Week

Trent Lott, you must be longing for the mottled brown limelight. Just when we thought you were turning back into a quiet hapless redneck, you offer new strategies for winning Iraqi hearts and minds.

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Blabbering Bush Head

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Iraq War Cost
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Civilian casualties update
This data is an accounting of civilian deaths in Iraq to date.
See Iraqbodycount.net for statistical methodologies


Growing fat off juicy Iraqi rebuildin' contracts. Did you know the bin Laden group is one of our top investors?

screw all the other stockholders, we're cashing out!

Hey, what do you know? We make money from American militarily screwed up countries in the Middle East!

We're already negotiating with the “new Iraqi democracy” for oil rights!

Selling weapons all over the globe to ensure civilian death and instability which in turn ensures a strong market for years and years...



Clinton was an Amateur
Who cares about the damn banner? Of course, the White House thought it up and made it. Of course, Bush is lying about it, because it's an embarrassment. His natural reaction is to lie about it through denial, but please folks, let's move on and focus on the important lies, not nitpicking all his little lies of less consequence.

The Big Lie that the banner represents is the carefully crafted impression that the war would be easily won and success would be swift and gratifying. Statements made by Rummy, Cheney and Wolfie portrayed a scenario in which the grateful liberated Iraqi citizenry showered their liberators with rose petals. That the White House now won't own up to creating that impression portrays the citizenry as a bunch of dumbasses, which the Bush Regime has no problem conveying. Bush critics are hoping to get the kind of brazen statement of simplistic duplicity like "I... did... not... have... sexual... relations... with... that... woman!"

Get over it. This White House learned from Bill that it's much better to lie by implication. It charts your position, but provides technical wiggle room and leave your critics quibbling over who said what when. By the time the media is sifting through your speeches, you've moved on to the next phase of the Big Lie.

Sure Clinton was a liar. But he was a clumsy amateur, laying the traps for his own demise. The Bush administration has shown us all a whole new level of duplicity, widely sweeping in its affect, but deniable in its lack of a simple sentence of culpability. Bill Clinton was a kid playing a grownup's game. Bush has shown us that lying is a fine art.

Professor Pissed - Disgust from Across the Pond

Burn Baby Burn....
And the headlines in my old home town paper, the LA Times, tell the story: "U.S. Rejected Davis on Aid to Clear Trees." Just hours before the current spate of wildfires began, the U.S. government rejected Governor Davis's plea for dead trees to be cleared from fire-prone areas of Southern California. (Let's not even go into their "environmental" plan, formulated in cahoots with the lumber industry, to clear cut forests in order to avoid forest fires -- yes, it is true, that if there are no trees left in the U.S., there probably won't be any fires; however, there won't be any oxygen either, but I guess if you have control over all remaining resources, you'll be able to stay alive somehow....).

The LA Times story about Davis's attempt to do something about the threat of massive forest fires doesn't seem to square with Republican attempts on the Left Coast to scapegoat him as the cause of all the state's evils (and bravo to the usually slightly right of center LA Times for at least implicitly making this point through their headline). As a former Californian, it always seemed clear that the Bush empire would prefer for the whole state to burn down anyway, since it has consistently refused to support right-wing presidential candidates (at least in recent years).

Meanwhile, King George W. is claiming that the economy is back on track (try telling that to the two million black men in prison in the U.S. who are not even included in unemployment figures) and that the Iraqis hate us Americans not because we are imperialist aggressors but because they are damaged from the dysfunctionality of having had Saddam as a leader for too long.... Bush has got his publicity system actively churning out propaganda to reopen the "blame Saddam" rhetoric: the federal government spokespeople are now officially blaming the former Iraqi dictator for attacks on Americans in Iraq (per the New York Times, "officials cited recent intelligence reports indicating that Mr. Hussein is acting as a catalyst or even a leader in the armed opposition...").

It's classic for empires at the height of their power (a height that also marks the beginning of their downfall -- viz. Rome in the ancient period; Britain at the end of the nineteenth century; Germany in the early to mid twentieth century, etc.) to find scapegoats in order to galvanize support for their home governments in order to shore up their fading power (anyone remember the horrors of the Boer war? of Hitler's Germany?). Even if Saddam no longer exists (perhaps even better if he is forever invisible, like Osama, an elusive but all the more "dangerous" enemy), he can provide the perfect "other" against which the US can continue to flex our imperialist muscle.

Still, it seems like this trick has lost its efficacy for Bush. There may still be hope for the US. The Republicans, having gotten rid of anyone vaguely left of center with any political visibility (Gore, Davis), are now left holding the bag. Fanning the flames of the fires in California may divert attention from the failed imperialist project in Iraq momentarily but not for long. Let's just hope the struggle for power and control on the Left Coast diverts the Bush-ites from their threatened aggression towards Iran (the seemingly inevitable next step in their project to consolidate their own power and finances) at least until the people of the US revolt and overthrow this proto-fascist pretender and the entire Bush family apparatus for good.

The good professor is getting steeped in the politics of Fredrick Engles' frequent haunt while puzzling the locals by trick or treating...

From the Horse's... Errr... Mouth
The once relevant Trent Lott, on the Iraq quagmire:

"Honestly, it's a little tougher than I thought it was going to be. If we have to, we just mow the whole place down, see what happens. You're dealing with insane suicide bombers who are killing our people, and we need to be very aggressive in taking them out."

Please, somebody help reassure me that this man continues to represent only a few trailer-dwelling Klan-wannabes with such statements of genocidal advocacy.

CIA Being Investigated
Here's a twist: Faced with pressure to fess up to the intelligence bungling, deliberately performed to give a pre-determined slant to the run up to war, the GOP is turning their venom toward the CIA as the source of the bunglement. Bad idea dudes. First of all, the CIA is the wrong agency with whom to fuck. Second of all, it is common knowledge the CIA had been feeding King George a lot of processed information that threw great doubt on the dangers of Saddam.

But the Bushies, pushed hard for a direct feed for only the unvetted stories that supported their position of Iraq as an imminent threat to America. After months of resistance, the CIA ultimately capitulated to the Rummy imperial imperative and began playing the game Bush's way. So, the GOP wants them to take the bullet for having fed bogus information from day one? Go for it, you stupid mofos. The more pressure is brought to bear on the CIA, the more sweeping their revenge is going to be. When you corner a cobra, it's gonna strike.

Attacks are a New Measure of Success
"The more successful we are on the ground, the more these killers will react."

Bush is now parlaying the increasingly successful attacks on our troops as indicative of our success ramming freedom up Iraq's bunghole. So, carrying Bush's correlation to its ultimate mathematical conclusion (not fuzzy math, either, mind you), it stands to reason that as we approach total freedom for Iraq, violent resistance will approach infinity.

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