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The Last Bastion of America's Liberal Media

Aug 16, 2004

Turd of the Week

Bob Costas, your uber-American Olympics commentary is truly nauseating. "Finally! It's about time," when the Olympic speakers delivered their remarks in english. Enjoy the handoff of the stench baton...

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Blabbering Bush Head

Click head for fresh random quote from
Jacob Weinberg's The Complete Bushisms - Netscape users hit reload

Threat Level: Tinkle

Iraq War Cost
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Civilian casualties update
This data is an accounting of civilian deaths in Iraq to date.
See Iraqbodycount.net for statistical methodologies


Growing fat off juicy Iraqi rebuildin' contracts. Did you know the bin Laden group is one of our top investors?

screw all the other stockholders, we're cashing out!

Hey, what do you know? We make money from American militarily screwed up countries in the Middle East!

We're already negotiating with the “new Iraqi democracy” for oil rights!

Selling weapons all over the globe to ensure civilian death and instability which in turn ensures a strong market for years and years...

Queer Gov for a Straight State
Governor Jim McGreevey gave the GOP juicy ammo for their continuing campaign of hate. That's what some pundits would conclude from the NJ Democrat's press conference last week. By ignoring their party members' own indiscretions (Newt Gingrich's tawdry intern affairs, Bush 1st's well known indiscretions), the GOP seeks to portray the Democrats as a party of carnal predators. And of course, isolated cases of alleged carnal predation are far more important than the disaster in Iraq, the limping economy, the environmental rape, or... well, you get the picture.

But let's look at what Jim McGreevey did: He cheated on his wife. Then when confronted with blackmail, he sacrificed his career rather than impugn the integrity of the office for which he had sacrificed his own sexual identity for years. His transgression was one that is utterly between himself and his wife and ultimately none of the public's business. The same could be said for Jack Ryan, except that he betrayed the values of hatred so dear to his party.

Of course, the GOP is firing off allegations that the Monica-dude was underqualified and thus was named just to be a convenient concubine. Or, that Monica-dude was a victim of a predatory Governor, exchanging his bootie for job security. Or (my personal favorite dis-reality) that he was an evil corrupt Governor and none of this reinvigorated witch-hunting has nothing to do with gayness. Problem is, they've previously cast the fundamental Clinton sin as one of lying about the affair. McGreevey has been quite straight about his non-straightness.

How sad that personal, private transgressions become digested in the public sphere. But let it be said that Governor McGreevey was honest with the public, even if he was dishonest with his family. While our culture largely vilifies homosexuality, ostracizing it from all but a few token careers, political life demands strong adherence to cultural norms (except for small areas of Massachusetts, San Fransisco and Carrboro, NC). The culture demands conformity and Jim McGreevey struggled to conform, ultimately failing in that quest and failing his family in the process.

The party of family values didn't wait a day to declare that McGreevey has "he has deceived all the voters of New Jersey." His GOP opponents predicted "more awkward stories" would be leaked shortly, making it "very difficult for him to carry out the duties of his office." Gee, you don't think they'll have anything to do with exacerbating that difficulty, do you?

Prediction: look for the Garden State GOP to try some wacky recall stunt a la Ahnold. Governor Oliver North, anyone?

Najaf to Undergo Re-education
Muqtada al-Sadr, the young angry cleric leading a chunk of the resistance in the Sunni triangle, is a wanted man. By refusing to follow the neocon's master plan of showering troops with roses, choosing instead to shoot, blow up and otherwise immolate American (oops!! I mean "coalition") forces, he is but one of many mosquitoes at the global takeover picnic. Holed up in the way holy Imam Ali Shrine
, Sadr's forces have rejected peace talks or any other seeming capitulation to Americ... I mean, puppet government Allawi & friends.

With help of Allawi's puppet government, we mowed down several hundred, thus moving in a commanding lead in the quest for the gold medal in carnage. The latest development is Allawi enforcing a forced evacuation of all media in Najaf, leaving only reporters embedded with American troops to chronicle what happens next.

I hope we have good photographic records of what Najaf, a sleepy hamlet of over 600,000 (and falling), used to look like.

Alan Keyes is Making Me Incensed
Senator Jack Ryan of Illinois was caught with leather, chains and wife swapping on his mind. Ain't that none of our business? Well, pretty much. But since his proclivities cripple the GOP's ability to hate those who would violate so-called norms, he had to go.

The GOP looked through the several million registered GOP voters and found one candidate who had a history of leadership, strength and the level of intelligence we've come to associate with today's Party of Lincoln. But Coach Mike Ditka was unable to commit to candidacy, so the GOP was clueless.

Enter Alan Keyes, right-wing nutcase, advocate of the separation of non-protestant church and state, and proponent of the abolishment of the democratic process for electing Senators. Keyes is infamous for his statements pillorying Hillary for running for Senate of a state she hadn't lived in, equating abortion with terrorists, conflating Nazis and homosexuality and advocating the benefits of religious oaths as prerequisites for political office. The GOP knows darn well that Obama is going to win, so they hope to sling as much mud as possible as Keyes goes down in flames. Plus, they get a black candidate out there, without having the uncomfortable possibility of having a black nutcase representing their party in office.

Brace yourself for the Obama=Osama ad campaign. Good thing it won't have the same bumpersticker relevance for the Obama 2012 presidential campaign.

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