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The Last Bastion of America's Liberal Media

23 Feb, 2004

Turd of the Week

Ralph Nader, entering the Presidential race speaks volumes about your commitment to the advancement of Ralph Nader.

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Iraq War Cost
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Civilian casualties update
This data is an accounting of civilian deaths in Iraq to date.
See Iraqbodycount.net for statistical methodologies



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Growing fat off juicy Iraqi rebuildin' contracts. Did you know the bin Laden group is one of our top investors?


screw all the other stockholders, we're cashing out!


Hey, what do you know? We make money from American militarily screwed up countries in the Middle East!


We're already negotiating with the “new Iraqi democracy” for oil rights!


Selling weapons all over the globe to ensure civilian death and instability which in turn ensures a strong market for years and years...

 

 

Thank you Dr. Howard Dean
No, I'm not thanking you for dropping out of the race (although it does help focus the anyone-but-Bush movement toward a singular candidate). I'm thanking you for defining, leading and articulating the Bush detraction message. By serving as the strident voice of dissent against the most corrupt President in recent memory, you have blazed a path which Kerry and Edwards can successfully pursue. In the all important crusade to discredit Bush and his cadre, you deserve an enormous amount of credit. When Bush is back at the ranch in 2005, we'll all owe you a great deal of thanks.

Sorry it didn't work out for you personally, but please take solace in the important role you played. With the continued Bush inability to pursue an appropriate or moral plan of action regarding domestic and global policy, President Sharpton and the rest of us can look back at your defining role in revealing to the public all the horrible things the Rhinestone Cowboy is doing to the country and the world.

Since you have some free time, could you look at this muscle pull in my lower back? It's been killin' me lately.

Ralph Nadir, Sticking up for the Little Guy... Named Ralph
The recent announcement of fringe candidate post-Green Party Ralph Nader comes as no big surprise to those watching him position himself as yet-again spoiler. While a reasonable case could be made that Nader shouldn't be held accountable for Gore's failure to win the Presidency by a wide enough margin to stave off the GOP zeal for power, no one can make the case any more that a Gore presidency would have brought little difference to America's direction when compared to the ultimate corrupt power of all, George W. Bush.

How many Nader voters now wish they could recast their 2000 ballots? We'll see by the difference in Nader support from 2000 to 2004. My guess is there are tons of well-meaning lefties who feel they were fooled into the "both candidates are basically the same corporate interest serving lackies" justification, only to see the horrific divisiveness of the Bush controlled Earth careening towards catastrophe.

But none of the voters' regret from 2000 excuse Ralph himself. His imposition into the race only serves as putrid reminder that he is ultimately more interested in promoting Ralph Nader than in joining an alliance representing the best reasonable opportunity to unseat a man who's policies have been an utter anathema to what Nader claims to defend.

I hope your punk ass gets kicked good, you ego-suckling Bush lackey!

Bush Takes on Science
The latest group to take a swipe at Bush's new improved reality is the world reknown Union of Concerned Scientists. These eggheads, who conceitedly think they know more about science than our President, issued a blistering 37 page report in which they have chronicled Bush's unprecedented campaign of distortion and fabrication of fact in pursuit of an agenda serving an elite group of corporate interests.

The report cites numerous examples of scientific evidence being distorted, ignored and "corrected" in support of policies whose advancement was approved prior to any scientific inquiry. Certainly, this is not the first time science has been used to serve policy positions for Presidential administrations. However, as the UCS points out, the pervasiveness of of the abuse of science is unprecedented in the Bush White House.

It doesn't matter whether the issue is global warming, abstinence training, environmental science, stem cell research or physics, the Bush administration decides its course and then subverts science to whatever degree necessary to pigeonhole it into compliance.

Who are these left-wing troublemaking scientists? Well, in addition to the 12 Nobel laureates and 12 National Medal of Science recipients, there are former science advisors under noted Che Guevera's radical associate Richard Nixon and Marxist theorist Gerald Ford.

In the report, Dr. F. Sherwood Rowland a Nobel laureate in chemistry stated, “The public deserves rational decision making based on the best scientific advice about what is likely to happen, not what political entities might wish to happen.”

While one might conclude that Bush has the unconcerned scientists satisfied, there remains a generalized level of Presidential mistrust throughout most of the scientific community and other areas where brains outweigh money.

Terror Alert Level: GREEN !!!
According to a recently leaked Pentagon study, the Department of Defense has concluded that Global Warming is a vastly larger threat to global security than terror, the Bush Administration's excuse for everything. According to the Guardian UK, the study gives a timeline of 2020 at which time the stuff of science fiction (coastal cities under water, cruel extremes in temperature) will come to pass, projecting on our current environmentally oblivious path.

This isn't some Chicken Little report written by the Sierra Club, Greenpeace or other beloved tree-huggers, this is Donald Rumsfeld's boys, including Peter Schwartz, CIA consultant and former head of planning at Royal Dutch/Shell Group, Andrew Marshall, assistant to Rummy himself and Doug Randall of the California-based Global Business Network. When you've got these establishment types scared about Global Warming, it's time to stop fucking around.

Quotes from the report include that global warming is:

  • '"Plausible and would challenge United States national security in ways that should be considered immediately. "
  • "Should be elevated beyond a scientific debate to a US national security concern'"
  • "Disruption and conflict will be endemic features of life. Once again, warfare would define human life.'

Somehow it is pitifully ironic that global security, the blanket in which Bush tries to shroud his evil agenda, is pushing one of the very issues he continues to wish away.

Look for the American press to jump on this story a few months from now, if at all.

2.6 Million, Give or Take a Few Zeros, Jobs
So now Bush is backing off his precise projection of 2,600,000 jobs created in 2004 by his fiscal wizardry. Rather than get hung up on numbers, he's using the more focused approach, best summarized in his assessment, "I think the economy's growing, and I think it's going to get stronger."

There you go, people of Earth. He "thinks" the economy is growing and he "thinks" it's going to get stronger. The faith-based fiscal policy is yet another example of a solution (fat cat tax cuts) in search of a problem (job stimulus, toxic waste dumping, revenge against Saddam). Don't ask him to explain the failure of 3 previous years of tax cuts to produce the benefits he seeks. Rather, rely (yet again) on blind faith that he has a clue as what he's doing at the helm of USS Bankrupt.

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