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The Last Bastion of America's Liberal Media

21 June, 2004

Turd of the Week

Bush and Cheney, y'all sure are gambling what little is left of your credibility with the continuing insistence that Saddam and Osama were buddies.

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Blabbering Bush Head

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Iraq War Cost
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Civilian casualties update
This data is an accounting of civilian deaths in Iraq to date.
See Iraqbodycount.net for statistical methodologies


Growing fat off juicy Iraqi rebuildin' contracts. Did you know the bin Laden group is one of our top investors?

screw all the other stockholders, we're cashing out!

Hey, what do you know? We make money from American militarily screwed up countries in the Middle East!

We're already negotiating with the “new Iraqi democracy” for oil rights!

Selling weapons all over the globe to ensure civilian death and instability which in turn ensures a strong market for years and years...

Mr. President, it's the Sudan on the Phone. Shall I Have Them Call Back Later?
So the great liberator from all oppression is busy freeing the Iraqis from horrific living conditions, just because he cares about people suffering? That's the lone remaining justification that doesn't cause nostrilized milk spew, right? It's because of the suffering of the Iraqi people who are, depending on your selective use of statistics, inference and wishing it to be so, suffering marginally less under the Bush-induced chaos, right?

Two Million deaths later, not counting beheading of children, rape and branding of women, Sudan is still a seething genocidal hell. Lip service from the White House typifies their level of involvement with oppression in non-petroleum laden (that's pronounced "lay-den") countries. But wait... apparently oil reserves have been recently discovered in Sudan.

Where's the rescue movement for the Sudanese? George? Hello?

Mr. President, it's Truth on the Phone. Shall I Have Them Call Back Later?
The 9/11 Commission has painted it in black and white. There is no linkage between Saddam and Al Qaeda. None. Fuggedaboutit. Tenet had already staked out the CIA's position ahead of time. They provided a big thumbs down on any connection and he's making sure he won't dangle for this one. The Mohammed Atta meeting conflicted with a rock solid alibi in Florida. Most of the rest of the "intelligence" goes back to Ahmet Chalabi, who played the Bush administration like complete chumps while selling it all out to Iran.

You'd think Bush would just act a little embarrassed and face the truth, or at least shut up about it and hope only left wing niche websites would keep yapping about it, while their right wing counterparts quibbled over the actual meaning of the hideous legacy of beard and mustache linkage quotes that Bush and his henchpeople spewed across the nation for months.

But these guys are sticking with their story in the face of incontrovertible, bipartisan findings that prove they were lying then, just as they are lying now. Sure, Bush apologists will desperately try to hide in the semantic seams of the litany of lies. Those seams exist in the narrowest sense, almost as though Cheney figured they'd need a verbal exit strategy when the truth emerged. Karl Rove has probably figured that Bush can stick to his lies and hope the whole thing will be a he said / she and a bipartisan congressional committee with sweeping powers of interrogation and analysis said kind of thing.

C'mon Kerry, how 'bout jumping on that will stiletto heels?

It Depends on What Your Definition of Contacts, Connections and Shadowy Ties Is
"The regime has long-standing and continuing ties to terrorist organizations and there are al-Qaeda terrorists inside Iraq."
President Bush 09/26/2002

"You can't distinguish between al-Qaeda and Saddam Hussein when you talk about the war on terror,"
President Bush 9/25/2002

"The danger is, is that they work in concert. The danger is, is that Al-Qaeda becomes an extension of Saddam's madness and his hatred and his capacity to extend weapons of mass destruction around the world."
President Bush 9/25/2002

"We need to think about Saddam Hussein using al Qaeda to do his dirty work, to not leave fingerprints behind."
President Bush 10/14/2002

"This is a person who has had contacts with al Qaeda"
President Bush 10/28/02

"He's got connections with al Qaeda"
President Bush 10/28/2002

"This is a guy who has had connections with these shadowy terrorist networks."
President Bush 10/31/02

"We know he's got ties with al Qaeda."
President Bush 11/01/02

"We know that he's had connections with al Qaeda."
President Bush 11/02/02

"He's had connections with shadowy terrorist networks like al Qaeda."
President Bush 11/02/02

"We know that he has had contacts with terrorist networks like al Qaeda"
President Bush 11/02/02

"This is a man who has had contacts with al Qaeda."
President Bush 11/02/02

"Evidence from intelligence sources, secret communications, and statements by people now in custody reveal that Saddam Hussein aids and protects terrorists, including members of al Qaeda"
President Bush 01/28/03

"We've learned that Iraq has trained Al Qaeda members in bomb-making and poisons and deadly gases."
President Bush 10/7/2002

"So, yes, there are contacts between Iraq and al Qaeda. We know that Saddam Hussein has a long history with terrorism in general. And there are some al Qaeda personnel who found refuge in Baghdad...There clearly are contacts between al Qaeda and Iraq that can be documented."
Condoleezza Rice 9/26/2002

"Clearly, al Qaeda is operating inside Iraq."
Ari Fleischer 09/26/02

"We have what we consider to be credible evidence that al Qaeda leaders have sought contacts in Iraq who could help them acquire weapons of mass destruction capabilities"
Donald Rumsfeld 09/27/02

Iraq Crumbling
The new Bush strategy may pay off in terms of his re-election bid. What's that strategy? Well, by ceding Falluja to the Baath party, he is reducing resistance, putting Iraqis in charge of their own security, and oh yes by the way, he's putting all the Saddam Hussein cronies back in power.

It's a clever strategy of course, most Americans won't realize that he's spending hundreds of billions of dollars, hundreds of American lives, thousands of Iraqi lives, exhausting all goodwill capital throughout the world and cultivating global animosity in order to do little more than change out the figurehead of Saddam. On top of that, do you really think once in power, the Sunnis will be happy with their oil lacking chunk of desert, while the Shiites in the south and the Kurds in the north are neck deep in sweet crude?

Now the Kurds are making a push to reclaim all northern lands, ensuring the impending civil war turns the newly liberated Iraq into Rwanda.

Thank you neo-cons.

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