u  p  d  a  t  e  d     w  e  e  k  l  y !
7 Mar 03
Chronicling the new Empire of America, the uber-Bully.

Turd of the Week

This week's TOW goes to Paul Wolfowitz, for articulating so clearly the Bush
Regime's insistence on eschewing a substantive role for the United Nations
in establishing a post-Saddam regime.

See full stories

The Liberals Were Wrong!
According to pop news sources, Baghdad will now be sown up before the NCAA Women's 2003 champion is crowned. The global counter-arguments to war have been recast as doubt of the military efficacy of our overwhelmingly overtrained uber-troops, which given recent developments in the American offensive, reveal war objections as utterly ill-founded. Once again, brilliant propagandeering from the corporate brotherhood of the sustaining overpriviledged has moved the media focus on military overpower. So, the new sentiment goes, the quicker we take Baghdad, the righter our cause. Bush is basking in 120% American approval ratings, and those are the only ratings that are relevant.

But while the Bush war machine is busy surgically transforming Iraqi government buildings and nearby infrastructure into rubble to the grateful applause of millions of American's, chests swollen with pride at the efficiency of our killing apparati, there remains a teensy issue of global opinion. The rest of the planet now sees us as an arrogant bully, demanding blind obeisance of the unwashed remaining residents of the American planet.

At best, the Bush Ministry of Propaganda depicts non-American media as un-American media, deliberately casting a dark pall over events with imagery of war victims (oh, the outrage!), wounded children (simply tasteless!) and grieving parents (show us the damn fireworks!). Regardless of the merits of subjectivity accusations, the fact is, the rest of the world is receiving information that reinforces very negative opinions of America. Meanwhile, mainstream America seems oblivious to the growing disgust with American policies, clinging futilely to the Rumsfeld-stoked imagery of America as globally loved liberators.

Civilian casualties update
This data is an accounting of civilian deaths in Iraq to date.
See Iraqbodycount.net for statistical methodologies


screw all the other stockholders, we're cashing out!

Hey, what do you know? We make money from American militarily screwed up countries in the Middle East!

We're already negotiating with the “new Iraqi democracy” for oil rights!

Selling weapons all over the globe to ensure civilian death and instability which in turn ensures a strong market for years and years...


We Like the Pretty Fireworks
As American troops bear down on Baghdad, the scatologically nauseated among us brace ourselves for the arbitrarily defined and declared victory. The victory will no doubt, be punctuated with all sorts of democracy trappings like non-maimed children able to play baseball in the one rubble-free street again, mothers no longer afraid to go shopping at the Basra Wal-Mart and Iraqis throughout the nation free to urinate on images of Saddam without fear of death. We'll hear Bush speeches which tout the selfless liberating of American troops while conveniently ignoring the horrible and inevitably bloody struggles for power among the highly diverse groups loosely defined as Iraqis.

No matter. American's attention will have been stuffed to the brim by images of precision guided weaponry, all from an antiseptic distance. Middle America's interest in the rebuilding process will be woefully fleeting, as it has been in Afghanistan. As Afghanistan was "liberated" we were bombarded with slow motion images of women peeling off their burkas and children playing in the street. The reality of Afghanistan today is one of minimal stability in Kabul, while the rest of the country continues to be ripped apart by warlords fighting for power. Does middle America know or even care? Hell no. We loves them fireworks.

American interest in the middle east is extremely detailed and focused when it comes to maps with iconic representations of military divisions, precision capabilities of munitions and the day to day progress of our troops. But when it comes to the social history of the nations we're blowing up, the international reaction to our militant thrust and the messy and complicated aftermath of nation building, most of America really doesn't give a fuck.

We Control the Horizontal. We Control the Vertical
Given the overwhelming global resentment toward America, we should be looking for ways in which to bolster the impression that we're serious about democratizing this "nation-building" process. Of course, the obvious answer is to turn the process over to the no-longer-relevant United Nations. This would quickly quell much of the quarrel over American bullying. It would inject much-needed legitimacy into the new governmental structures, a legitimacy that is absolutely necessary for any form of redemption for our actions.

But no. The Bush Regime insists that it's not fair for other countries to get a spot at the table if they aren't going to do the dirty work. In logic quite reminiscent of children, the Bush Regime has decided what is fair in terms of rebuilding and insists on dictating roles it will deign to impose on other organizations. Sure, they give lip service to some UN involvement, but you can be sure the rebuilding will be orchestrated around punitive roles to the empire obstructionists and corporate windfalls for those in the inner circle, rather than a direction that would further interests of global peace or governmental legitimacy for Iraq.

The fullest comprehension of the Bush Regime's priorities comes not from studying diplomacy or leadership, but from observing preschoolers intent on massaging their own needs in a zero sum game where other must suffer in order to produce benefit to the powerful.

Wolfowitz was on several talk shows this past weekend, touting the master vision for Operation Humpty Dumpty. Apparently, the Bush Regime has deigned to allow the UN a role as US food lackey, bringing food and relief supplies at the behest of the Red, White and Blue overlord. However, Wolfie made it quite clear that the UN would not be allowed any decision making role.

Sen. Warner echoed the party's its-our-football-so-we-get-to-make-the-rules policy stance, "Right now the coalition of forces that have fought this war bravely and borne the sacrifice should take on the major role of managing the overall reconstruction, rehabilitation and putting in place a political structure for the Iraqi people."

So the rebuilding spoils go to the vanquishers, regardless of how well suited they are at establishing a legitimate government. Wow, that's goddamned great.

We have yet to hear reasons why the United States is best suited for the rebuilding process (other than sunny bromides about Halliburton's great experience at cleaning up messes made by very close friends). Rather, we get the schoolyardian declaration that it's our right as lone defenders of freedom.

Bush to Liberate Northern Ireland
Flush with the resounding successes of his subtle diplomatic overtures in Iraq, our leader now seeks to apply salve to the wounds of perennially contentious Northern Ireland. The master of subtlety will no doubt find clever nick-names for the various aggrieved parties and begin issuing threats to the Irish "terr'ists" despite their moniker as the Irish REPUBLICAN Army. Watch out Shin Fein, you're up next after Iran, Syria, Yemen, North Korea and France.

Chemical Ali said to be dead
Chemical Ali, or as this crap sickened pundit refers to him "Blessed by the Reagan/Bush administration for his use of Chemical agents, some of which were supplied by the US, in stomping out internal dissent which distracted from the Iran/Iraq war and which prompted no Executive outcry until we decided we wanted Iraq's oil in 1991" Ali, has been declared officially bombed into tiny bits by Allied forces. Hey, lob enough WOMD into a country and you're bound to get some scoundrels.

The Price Paid
The pundits of Sick of this Crap deeply regrets the loss of:

  • Lt. Thomas Mullin Adams
  • Spc. Jamaal R. Addison
  • Cpl. Stephen John Allbutt
  • Sapper Luke Allsopp
  • Lance Corporal Brian E. Anderson
  • Maj. Jay Aubin
  • Capt. Ryan Beaupre
  • Sgt. Michael E. Bitz
  • Lance Cpl. Thomas A. Blair
  • Lance Cpl. Shaun Andrew Brierley
  • Lance Cpl. Brian Rory Buesing
  • Sgt. George Edward Buggs
  • Sgt. Jacob L. Butler
  • Staff Sgt. James W. Cawley
  • Colour Sgt. John Cecil
  • 2nd Lt. Therrel S. Childers
  • Trooper David Jeffrey Clarke
  • Capt. Aaron J. Contreras
  • Staff Sgt. Simon Cullingworth
  • Cpl. Michael Edward Curtin
  • Master Sgt. Robert J. Dowdy
  • Pvt. Ruben Estrella-Soto
  • Lance Bombadier Llywelyn Karl Evans
  • Lance Cpl. David K. Fribley
  • Cpl. Jose A. Garibay
  • Cpl. Jorge A. Gonzalez
  • Lt. Philip D Green RN
  • Pfc. Christian D. Gurtner
  • Lance Cpl. Jose Gutierrez
  • Cpt. Philip Stuart Guy
  • Marine Sholto Hedenskog
  • Sgt. Les Hehir
  • Sgt. Nicholas M. Hodson
  • Lance Cpl. Matty Hull
  • Cpl. Evan T. James
  • William A. Jeffries
  • Pfc. Howard Johnson II
  • Hospital Corpsman Third Class (Fleet Marine Force) Michael Vann Johnson Jr.
  • Staff Sgt. Phillip A. Jordan
  • Cpl. Brian Kennedy
  • Spc. James M. Kiehl
  • Lt. Antony King
  • Sgt. Bradley S. Korthaus
  • Sgt. Michael V. Lalush
  • Lt. Marc A. Lawrence RN
  • Christopher R Maddison
  • Lance Cpl. Joseph B. Maglione
  • Flight Lt. Kevin Barry Main
  • Pfc. Francisco A. Martinez Flores
  • Chief Warrant Officer Johnny Villareal Mata
  • Staff Sgt. Donald C. May, Jr.
  • Sgt. Brian D. McGinnis
  • Marine Gunnery Sgt. Joseph Menusa
  • Staff Sgt. Chris Muir
  • Marine Maj. Kevin G. Nave
  • Lance Cpl. Patrick R. Nixon
  • Lance Cpl. Patrick T. O'Day
  • Lance Cpl. Eric J. Orlowski
  • Pfc. Lori Piestewa
  • 2nd Lt. Frederick E. Pokorney Jr
  • Pfc. Diego Fernando Rincon
  • Sgt. Steven Mark Roberts
  • Cpl. Robert M. Rodriguez
  • Cpl. Randal Kent Rosacker
  • Spc. Brandon J. Rowe
  • Spc. Gregory P. Sanders
  • Capt. Christopher Scott Seifert
  • Mechanic (Comm.) Second Class Ian Seymour
  • Lance Cpl. Karl Shearer
  • Pfc. Brandon Sloan
  • Lance Cpl. Thomas J. Slocum
  • Lance Cpl. Jesus A. Suarez Del Solar
  • Sgt. Roderic A. Solomon
  • Lance Cpl. Barry 'Baz' Stephen
  • Maj. Gregory Stone
  • Warrant Officer Second Class Mark Stratford
  • Reserve Spc. Brandon S. Tobler
  • Sgt. Donald Walters
  • Maj. Jason Ward
  • Staff Sgt. Kendall Damon Waters-Bey
  • Pfc. Michael Russell Creighton Weldon
  • Lt. Philip West
  • Lance Cpl. William W. White
  • Flight Lt. David Rhys Williams
  • Sgt. Eugene Williams
  • Lt. James Williams
  • Lance Cpl. Michael J. Williams
  • Lt. Andrew S. Wilson RN

...who are the Allied known fatalities to date (midday at 03/30/03). We also mourn the untold Iraqi dead whom we won't likely have names of ever, although thanks to the Iraqbodycount.net, we know the numbers to between the two figures of .

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