U   P   D   A   T   E   D         W   E   E   K   L  Y  ! ! !

The Last Bastion of America's Liberal Media

19 Jan, 2004

Turd of the Week

Hillary, Girl, you know I love you and I wouldn't TOW you unless I knew it would help toughlove you back on the righteous path. Your Ghandi mea culpa was pretty total, but next time, get somebody to look over your speech

Blabbering Bush Head

Click head for fresh random quote from
Jacob Weinberg's The Complete Bushisms - Netscape users hit reload

Iraq War Cost
(JavaScript Error)

Civilian casualties update
This data is an accounting of civilian deaths in Iraq to date.
See Iraqbodycount.net for statistical methodologies


Growing fat off juicy Iraqi rebuildin' contracts. Did you know the bin Laden group is one of our top investors?

screw all the other stockholders, we're cashing out!

Hey, what do you know? We make money from American militarily screwed up countries in the Middle East!

We're already negotiating with the “new Iraqi democracy” for oil rights!

Selling weapons all over the globe to ensure civilian death and instability which in turn ensures a strong market for years and years...



Happy MLKing Day
Americans take the day to honor the memory of its most visible and effective leader in the struggle to legitimize the Consitution. Well, some just use it as an excuse to recover from drinking too much during the Sunday football games. Others milk it for the photo-op that it can be. Bush gave a speech at Dr. King's tomb, where he had to elevate his voice significantly to drown out the sound of Dr. King spinning.

One the greatest things about King's goals and methods is that civil disobedience ultimately showed his great faith in the ideals of America. Where other nations would crush dissent, America deals with it. Not always gracefully, but America dealt with it. And Dr. King had faith that, with the right prodding, America would have no choice but to uphold its own Constitution.

Then, on his 75th birthday, his image is co-opted by the greatest threat to the constitution since Jefferson Davis.


Social Marriage Engineering
Once upon a time, so called conservatives wanted to keep government out of people's private lives. Now it seems conservative want to spend $1,500,000,000 to "promote marriage," the hetrosexual kind, that is. This will be achieved by advertising, counseling and a healthy dollop of shame, not doubt. But of course, the main target will be the poor.

Need some assistance with child care in order to complete your degree? Here's a pamphlet on how wonderful George and Laura Bush's relationship is.

With abstinence training, marriage promotion and gay marriage prohibitions forming the centerpiece for conservative social coersion, there's some pretty sick advertising due from Karl Rove as the election heats up.

Hillary!?!?! What in the Name of Ghandi Were You Thinkin'?
It was straight out of a GOP foot in mouth playbook. A numbskull politician makes some reference to Ghandi which embraces the most ugly American stereotypes of Indian. But lordy, it turned out to be unintended bile emanating from Hillary Rodham.

Girl, if the rumors about 2008 are true, you'd best hone the tongue a bit in preparation. I mean, even George W. has learned to avoid saying the stupidest things (too bad he hasn't avoided doing them.). Find out who wrote that line in your speech and fire their asses!

Who to Caucus For?
I get letters. Some of them are not right wing diatribes wishing for me to die a napalm soup in a Tikrit spiderhole. Of this tiny subset, there is wonderment on which candidential fence the crap sickened pundit sits
. Let me state there is no candidate who jumps out as the uber-dude (now that CMB is out, I can use gender pronouns).

That said, I would even rather see Leiberman as president (shudder!!!) that the current band of lying potentates. Dean worries me in how he might transform his anti-Bushness into pro-Deanness. Wesley is a little too recently from the other team. Edwards just strikes me as a opportunist, while Gephart and Kerry work too hard to be captivating. Sharpton was intriguing until he overplayed the race card (didn't he learn anything from Tawana Brawley?) while Cuscinich, close though I am to him on the issues, is too far left to be taken seriously.

I want the guy that can best beat Bush. I'm convinced any one of them could govern and lead more effectively, but I want the candidate who can make it happen. It's gonna take a strong candidate to overcome the paeans to fear the Bushies use as a smokescreen for their global dominion, environmental raping, fat cat giveawaying bullshit.

Whoever emerges from IA, NH and SC as the frontrunner gets my support.

Sick of this Crap Staff (yes, the links really work!):

Interns: , ,

  Crap Archives
  Legal Disclaimer: All information on this site has been carefully considered as to its inflammatory value against the backdrop of the prevailing standards of cultural depravity. Research is spotty at best. The resulting verbiage, though dead-on and wickedly insightful (not to mention inciteful) should be considered pure satire, if for no other reason than to deflect lawsuits.