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21 Mar 03
Chronicling the new Empire of America, the uber-Bully.
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Turd of the Week

Rummy's fave Muppet Ahmad Chalabi's mouth moves, and words emerge claiming the United Nations no longer has the credibility to be deeply engaged in nation building. Wow, you can't even see Rummy's lips moving...


Free Speech Erupts in Baghdad... Whoops!
Irony smacked American occupiers right in the nose this past week as thousands of liberated Iraqis displayed their liberation by telling the liberators to liberate themselves from Iraqi soil and let Iraqis take over. But of course, the Bush Regime sees the dirty savages as unfit to take over the intricate tasks of self-governance. Apparently, the liberators know more than the liberatees what is best for them and will move accordingly.

This embarrassing display for the Bush Regime certainly presents an ugly backdrop against which the statue topplement seems a bit tainted. Better get some CIA guys into those crowds to disperse things quickly while Chalabi polishes his crown, or the world will find out the depths of our imperialism.

Civilian casualties update
This data is an accounting of civilian deaths in Iraq to date.
See Iraqbodycount.net for statistical methodologies


Sponsors:


screw all the other stockholders, we're cashing out!


Hey, what do you know? We make money from American militarily screwed up countries in the Middle East!


We're already negotiating with the “new Iraqi democracy” for oil rights!


Selling weapons all over the globe to ensure civilian death and instability which in turn ensures a strong market for years and years...

 

Our Terrorism is Good Terrorism
Our military campaign is designed to shock and awe Iraq, and by extension Iran, Syria, North Korea and the rest of the world. In other words, we want the rest of the world to be terrified of us. With the knowledge of the inevitability of civilian deaths directly attributable to American war munitions (check the Iraqbodycount counter in the upper right), the Bush Regime is engaging in terrorism far more effective than the amateurish imitations practiced by Al Qaeda and the PLO. Oh sure, our cause is noble, wonderful, for the betterment of humanity, blah blah blah while other terrorists' causes are evil, self-centered, evil and above all else, evil.

But is terror any different if it's dropped from 10,000 feet from a $2,000,000,000 stealth fighter than dynamite strapped to someone's chest in a marketplace? Some would argue that the intention to harm civilians is the difference. Despite the whole road to hell metaphor, let us not forget that the Bush regime knew full well that civilian casualties would result, so their civilian kills cannot be described as truly unintentional. Until we hear from the White House that the current civilian death toll is unacceptably high, we can assume the Bush Regime feels the civilian death toll is within their comfort zone. Now that the civilian deaths due directly to American munitions (not counting the thousands and thousands who have died and will die indirectly from American incursion, including disease borne of chaos and lack of availability of proper emergency infrastructure) in Iraq and Afghanistan have far surpassed Sept 11th deaths, the issue of whose terrorism is more effective seems pretty moot.

Just for kicks, here's an excerpt from the Macmillan Encyclopedia which contains their definition of terrorism:

The use of violence and intimidation to achieve an objective that is usually, but not always, political. This may involve the capture or assassination of members of a government or organization who are known to be antagonistic to the terrorists' cause.

Discuss.

Battle Over the Airwaves
US Forces targeted and successfully demolished all Iraqi TV broadcast facilities. This created a void which is now filled with Arabic translations of Fox"News", MSNBC and the major networks' news programs. Any Iraqi who wants televised news can only get American TV. Similarly, American controlled radio is monopolizing the airwaves as well with message by us, of us and for them, including commercials for Celebrity Mole Hawaii. Special kudos to CNN for opting out of this heavy handed propaganda ploy. They felt it was inappropriate.

In another ironic turn of events, the first printed publication of mass distribution (save our leafleting the entire nation) is the Iraqi Communist Party News, which is being snapped up by Iraqis by the thousands as they seek any alternative to American media. The ICP, which of course was outlawed for years by Saddam, is taking advantage of the chaos by providing anti-Saddam, anti-American news in a bid to get early attention from the recently-liberated-yet-not-killed-by-a-stray-smart-bomb. Other interest groups are similarly competing for Iraqi attention despite the fact none of these groups has the resources of the American war machine. As the Crap Sickened Pundit's Eternal Life Partner put it, "it's like vultures circling a carcass."

Speaking of slanted media, Rupert Murdoch, whose despicability is tempered only by his long-standing commitment to airing The Simpsons, is at it again. This time he is trying to buy DirectTV. This acquisition would give him enormous leverage to force Time Warner and various small cable companies to provide Fox programming, including the deplorable Fox"News" to viewers across the country and the world. With the ascension of Fox"News" as the image manipulator of choice during the war on Iraq, it is chilling to think of the programming once Rupe has beaten all alternative news providers into right wing acquiescence. Remember Rupe is the guy who signs Geraldo's paycheck. There's journalistic objectivity for ya'.

How 'bout Rebuilding Infrastructure and Promoting Democracy at Home?
The Bush Regime promises to rebuild Iraq's infrastructure and establish democracy. Frankly, given his disregard for America's infrastructure and democracy, we remain skeptical toward his intentions and abilities. His unwillingness to preserve, much less bolster America's decaying physical infrastructure is appalling. His deliberate efforts to plunder the meager funds allocated to supporting America's social infrastructure are absolutely inhumane. Lastly, his administration's push to compromise democracy at home and through global institutions is deplorable.

His dismantling of America's safety nets, his support of incarceration without due process and his active neglect of America's disenfranchised would certainly be easier to take if he would just tell the truth. Something to the effect of "America is doing too much to help those who have fallen through the cracks. Conversely, America has not done enough to assist the privileged. My administration seeks to change that." Added bonus would be something along the lines of "We will change prevailing policies through tax cuts which favor the rich, spending cuts which target the poor and fiscal policies which reward political cronies, while provide no hope for a balanced budget for decades into the future."

Instead, we get a President who lies to us about the intent of his administration, tells us fantasies we want to hear about taxes and spending while seeking power through appeals to fear, greed and hatred.

Disney Diversion
In the midst of all the global turmoil, even your regular Crap-Sickened Pundit needs the kind of total cultural escape that only the Disney Corporation can provide. So it was that for 5 unrelenting fun-infused days, CSP and family were enveloped by all that is Disney. Fed news solely through the Disneyesque USA Today, the CSP became wonderfully numbed to the evils of the non-Disney world. Some observations of our culture, as viewed through the lens of American affluence and semi-affluence:

We are a hideously fat bunch of people. At 6'2" and 188#, the CSP is no hummingbird feather to behold, but our party felt absolutely anorexic compared to the grotesquely misshapen beings that waddled, and in far too many cases to be attributable to spinal injury, actually had to use electric carts to ambulate between food courts. By and large (sic) the thin folks had nice shoes and odd accents, indicating their foreign tourist-ness.

We love our convenience. Everything you need is within credit card's distance. The blurring of boundaries between entertainment and gift shop was masterful. And of course, every stray piece of garbage was quickly snapped up just like in Switzerland.

Patriotic Mouse combination iconography is big. What could be a more intriguing blend than Mickey swaddled in old glory?

The spectacle of American power-leisure is certainly an amazing thing to behold.

Sanctions Lifted?
So, the Bush Regime is now appealing to the UN to have economic sanctions against Iraq lifted, presumably to allow it to sell tons of oil so that rebuilding American-style can take place. Not so fast says the UN, for the sanctions were put in place as a counterbalance to Iraq's noncompliance to WoMD limits imposed by the Allies in GW1. The sanctions would be lifted when Iraq destroys all weapons of mass destruction. The UN claims these sanctions cannot be lifted until those assurances are in place, as per the original agreement.

So America is in an awkward place. If we push for sanctions removal, we must claim there are no weapons of mass destruction, which would utterly undercut our raison d'whoopass. Of course, America will get her way, but it's an interesting predicament.

As for the WoMD, this pundit believes they probably exist, but one would have expected the discovery by now of a substantial cache of naughtiness. With the growing backlash in Iraq and the rest of the Arab world, the "coalition" better come up with some goodies soon, not that Americans care, but there's the little issue of global credibility which is the greatest casualty of Operation "sixteen hundred innocent casualties is a small price to pay for my reelection."

While You Weren't Looking...
Bush's Budget cuts $25,000,000,000 in veterans benefits. No, not the people who give medical aid to pets, the people who GWB puts on the front lines, the heroes, whose heroism Bush heroically salutes. Yes, those folks are getting the rug yanked out from under them. Thanks a lot suckers!

Don't expect a fuss from Capital Hill. In the entire House and Senate there is only one representative who has a child in the service.

The Price Paid
The pundits of Sick of this Crap deeply regrets the loss of:

JAMES F. ADAMOUSKI • THOMAS MULLIN ADAMS • JAMAAL R. ADDISON • TRISTAN N. AITKEN • STEPHEN JOHN ALLBUTT • SAPPER LUKE ALLSOPP • BRIAN E. ANDERSON • JAY AUBIN • ANDREW JULIAN AVILES • CHAD E. BALES • STEVE BALLARD • RYAN BEAUPRE • WILFRED D. BELLARD • MICHAEL E. BITZ • THOMAS A. BLAIR • JEFFREY E. BOHR, JR • STEVON A. BOOKER • MATHEW G. BOULE • SHAUN ANDREW BRIERLEY • HENRY L. BROWN • JOHN E. BROWN • LARRY K. BROWN • BRIAN RORY BUESING • GEORGE EDWARD BUGGS • TAMARIO D. BURKETT • JACOB L. BUTLER • JAMES W. CAWLEY • JOHN CECIL • KEMAPHOOM A. CHANAWONG • THERREL S. CHILDERS • DAVID JEFFREY CLARKE • DONALD J. CLINE JR. • AARON J. CONTRERAS • SIMON CULLINGWORTH • DANIEL FRANCIS J. CUNNINGHAM • MICHAEL EDWARD CURTIN • ERIC B. DAS • WILBERT DAVIS • ROBERT J. DOWDY • RUBEN ESTRELLA-SOTO • LLYWELYN KARL EVANS • MARK A. EVNIN • GEORGE A. FERNANDEZ • THOMAS A. FOLEY III • TRAVIS A. FORD • DAVID K. FRIBLEY • JOSE A. GARIBAY • JUAN GUADALUPE GARZA JR. • JONATHAN L. GIFFORD • ARMANDO ARIEL GONZALEZ • JESUS A. GONZALEZ • JORGE A. GONZALEZ • BERNARD G. GOODEN • RICHARD A. GOWARD • PHILIP D GREEN • CHRISTIAN D. GURTNER • JOSE GUTIERREZ • PHILIP STUART GUY • ERIK A. HALVORSEN • SHOLTO HEDENSKOG • LES HEHIR • TERRY W. HEMINGWAY • NICHOLAS M. HODSON • LINCOLN D. HOLLINSAID • MATTY HULL • NOLEN R. HUTCHINGS • GREGORY P. HUXLEY, JR. • SCOTT JAMAR • EVAN T. JAMES • WILLIAM A. JEFFRIES • HOWARD JOHNSON II • MICHAEL VANN • JOHNHNSON JR. • DEVON D. JONES • PHILLIP A. JORDAN • JEFFREY J. KAYLOR • BRIAN KENNEDY • JAMES M. KIEHL • ANTONY KING • EDWARD J. KORN • BRADLEY S. KORTHAUS • MICHAEL V. LALUSH • MARC A. LAWRENCE • NINO D. LIVAUDAIS • RYAN P. LONG • CHRISTOPHER R MADDISON • JOSEPH B. MAGLIONE • KEVIN BARRY MAIN • IAN KEITH MALONE • JOHN W. MARSHALL • FRANCISCO A. MARTINEZ FLORES • JOHNNY VILLAREAL MATA • DONALD C. MAY, JR. • JOSEPH P. MAYEK • BRIAN D. MCGINNIS • BRIAN M. MCPHILLIPS • JESUS MARTIN ANTONIO MEDELLIN • JOSEPH MENUSA • GIL MERCADO • JASON M. MEYER • JASON DAVID MILEO •ANTHONY S. MILLER • GEORGE A. MITCHELL • CHRIS MUIR • PIPER CHRISTOPHER MUZVURU • KEVIN G. NAVE • PATRICK R. NIXON • DONALD S. OAKS JR. • PATRICK T. O'DAY • ERIC J. ORLOWSKI • DAVID EDWARD OWENS JR. • FERNANDO PADILLA-RAMIREZ • MICHAEL F. PEDERSEN • LORI PIESTEWA • FREDERICK E. POKORNEY JR • KELLEY S. PREWITT • RANDALL S. REHN • BRENDON C. REISS • DIEGO FERNANDO RINCON • DUANE R. RIOS • RUSSELL B. RIPPETOE • JOHN T. RIVERO • TODD J. ROBBINS • STEVEN MARK ROBERTS • ROBERT M. RODRIGUEZ • RANDAL KENT ROSACKER • BRANDON J. ROWE • BENJAMIN W. SAMMIS • GREGORY P. SANDERS • SCOTT D. SATHER • CHRISTOPHER SCOTT SEIFERT • IAN SEYMOUR • KARL SHEARER • ERIK H. SILVA • BRANDON SLOAN • THOMAS J. SLOCUM • EDWARD SMITH • ERIC A. SMITH • PAUL R. SMITH • JESUS A. SUAREZ DEL SOLAR • RODERIC A. SOLOMON • BARRY 'BAZ' STEPHEN • ROBERT A. STEVER • GREGORY STONE • MARK STRATFORD • RIAYAN A. TEJEDA • BRANDON S. TOBLER • KELAN JOHN TURRINGTON • DONALD WALTERS • JASON WARD • KENDALL DAMON WATERS-BEY • MICHAEL RUSSELL CREIGHTON WELDON • PHILIP WEST • NATHAN D. WHITE • WILLIAM W. WHITE • DAVID RHYS WILLIAMS • EUGENE WILLIAMS • JAMES WILLIAMS • MICHAEL J. WILLIAMS • ANDREW S. WILSON

 

...who are the Allied known fatalities to date (04/21/03). We also mourn the untold Iraqi dead whom we won't likely have names of ever, although thanks to the Iraqbodycount.net, we know the numbers to between the two figures of .

 
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  Legal Disclaimer: All information on this site has been carefully considered as to its inflammatory value against the backdrop of the prevailing standards of cultural depravity. Research is spotty at best. The resulting verbiage, though dead-on and wickedly insightful (not to mention inciteful) should be considered pure satire, if for no other reason than to deflect lawsuits.