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The Last Bastion of America's Liberal Media

21 July 2003

Turd of the Week

Who is the yet-to-be-named insistor of the Niger Nuke Nonsense reference in the SotU speech? Well, the closed door Congressional investigation won't say, but leaks indicate none other than Dick Cheney, is center stage for the receipt of this week's dinglecake.

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Blabbering Bush Head

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Jacob Weinberg's The Complete Bushisms
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Civilian casualties update
This data is an accounting of civilian deaths in Iraq to date.
See Iraqbodycount.net for statistical methodologies


Growing fat off juicy Iraqi rebuildin' contracts. Did you know the bin Laden group is one of our top investors?

screw all the other stockholders, we're cashing out!

Hey, what do you know? We make money from American militarily screwed up countries in the Middle East!

We're already negotiating with the “new Iraqi democracy” for oil rights!

Selling weapons all over the globe to ensure civilian death and instability which in turn ensures a strong market for years and years...


The Beginning of the End?
Many of us stalwart observers have spent the past 22 months aghast at the clumsy campaign of White House lies and lipservice that the media and paranoid public have lustily devoured without question. With the yawing chasm between Bush word and deed, this pundit's cynicism had grown to proportions normally associated with catatonic political disengagement. And so, I have grown to steel myself against the very real possibility that a comeuppance for the Rhinestone Cowboy would never come, until historians analyzed the American disaster of the early twenty first century.

Now it feels as though the Bush master plan is unraveling - and with such a spectacular collapse. It ain't just the sixteen words folks. It's the mainstream media suddenly finding the journalistic cojones to point out the lies behind the failed and failing policies. And of course, the Bush resolve now plays like utter unaccountability as the blame gets awkwardly shifted, the lies get pitifully defended and Bush sounding more like Monica-tainted Bill every minute.

The war, sold on bogus pretense of preemptive self-defense has now become a guerilla-based quagmire with soldiers dying every week. The unbridled hubris of America in castrating the United Nations is now coming home to roost as we seek somebody, anybody, to clean up the mess that we and we alone created. And of course, we haven't the military attention span to deal with Iran and North Korea any more. Domestically, our economy is a mess, though we're told the recession ended a year and a half ago, with the tax burden shifted to the middle and lower classes and government spending shifting from social programs to the projection of America's military phallus around the world. All the while the tax bill grows for our children to face.

All these ills have been in front of our noses for over a year, yet only now is a curiously emboldened press digging beneath the fetid rhetoric of the White House Press Secretary (and may I say Scott McClellan is really struggling?). Will the economy suddenly turn around and the fuzzydice.com's start getting millions in venture capital again? Will Saddam be found, the street fighting end so we can turn to new military adventures? Will new "evidence" be "found" of WMD to finally vindicate Bush's bloodlust?

Perhaps one or more of these sea changes will come to pass and it'll be back to business establishing America as the one and only world power with the media playing cheerleader again. But for those of us who have agonized over the damage wrought by Bush's horrible, horrible policies, we anticipate an awful, yet compelling train wreck to behold.

Pat Robertson Orders Divine Execution of Supreme Court Liberals
Pat Robertson asked his fellow followers of hate-based religion to join spiritual energies in asking our loving lord and savior Jesus Christ almighty to burn, electrocute, infect with lethal monkeypox, or reign down any other form of swift and excruciating death upon the servants of Satan, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, John Paul Stephens and a third Justice to be named later. With references to the general frailty of Stephens and recent colon cancer of Ginsberg, Loving Pat asked Jesus for a little push toward the bone orchard for those who would not legislatively deny the rights of gays and lesbians to live lives free of the oppressive shame and legal ostracization which Christ himself would certainly impose, were he alive today and armed with all the mechanisms of modern legislative enforcement.

The aptly named "Prayer Offensive" is to last 21 days in which the faithful are asked to pray for the rapid advancement of Ginsberg's colonic pestilence in order to preserve the colonic virginity of innocents. In claiming the recent Supreme Court's "it's your funhole, do whatcha wanna do" verdict, Robertson claims the ruling "has opened the door to homosexual marriage, bigamy, legalized prostitution and even incest."

So Pat, is that WJWD?

Sixteen Words and the Big Squirm
I agree with the Rush Limbaughs, the Tom DeLays, the Lynne Cheneys that the media is putting far too much focus on Bush's sixteen words. These few words imply that Saddam was trying to procure yellowcake Uranium within a timeframe recent to the SotU speech and indicated that action was imminently needed to forestall Armageddon.

The wording was such that it provided Clintonesque wiggle room, leaving the media and apologists to quibble over wordsmithing. Now the mouth-foaming right-wing gets to play the Prez defender (as we reluctant liberals did over Clinton's bogus denials) by picking apart sentences for some nuanced literal meaning, whose substance and implication could be conveniently dismissed. Some of the apologists are even saying that the allegations of African nuke shopping could, in a pleasant coincidence, turn out to be conveniently true, should new intelligence be so generous!

The problem I have with the sixteen words is they are far from isolated. They are simply this month's example of Bush's wholly contrived image of Saddam as a threat to America. Why is the yellowcake claim substantially different from the tons of Sarin gas stated or the satellite photos of labs full of giant germs bound for Peoria? It's not just the forged document, it's the whole depiction of Saddam as a threat to America that was created by the Bush cabal to justify a massive commitment of troops, money and global estrangement for some purpose I'll leave to conspiracy buffs to ponder.

Bush's impeachment may very well start with the sixteen words. However, there are far more insidious nuggets of ammo within the 2001-2003 inter departmental discussions of how to sell a war whose actual justification was impolitic, illegal or both.

Bring them on.

A Voice from Senegal
Senegalese citizens are reporting the impact of President Bush's visit last week. From one citizen's point of view, Bush's visit has left a considerable impression:
  1. More than 1,500 persons have been arrested and put in jail for five days surrounding Bush's visit.
  2. Before and during his visit, 700 US security people with dogs, low-flying surveillance jets, and armored vehicles. Senegalese security forces were not allowed to come near the US president.
  3. All trees along Bush's route, many hundreds of years old, have been clear cut and removed.
  4. All roads into Dakar, where hospitals, businesses, schools are located, were closed for two days. Hospitals turned away all new admissions.
  5. All Goree Island residents were forced from their homes for several hours, so Bush could abhor slavery. Their homes were ordered to be left open for security inspections prior to Bush's arrival.
  6. Bush brought his own furniture, his own vehicles, and of course meals and drinks.
  7. Bush brought his own journalists as Senegalese journalists were forbidden inside the airport and in places he was visiting.
  8. Bush's Ugandan visit consisted of meeting the President in the airport lounge

Contrast this with Nelson Mandela's, Bill and Hillary Clinton's visits which featured no such wholesale intrusion into Senegalese lives. But I guess Bush has more to fear from the rest of the world...

Everyone Agrees...
At least we're told that everyone agrees that Iraq is better off without Saddam. Certainly, his specter cast a horrible pall over the citizenry, where his methods of enforcing his rule are brutally documented in mass graves and torture chambers.
But as the mess America has created in Iraq becomes increasingly chaotic, the gross imbalance between Iraqi welfare pre/post invasion becomes murkier and harder to defend with each passing day.

Rummy's Hedge
Mister "we'll be welcomed by Iraqis with open arms" probably should have amended his statement to read "loaded arms." As the enquagmiring policy is so deep now even his evilness must acknowledge it, he soberly admitted this week that "The more progress we make, I'm afraid, the more vicious the attacks will become."

Expressed mathematically, this is a limit in which as we approach real victory (not just a mission accomplished backdrop banner on an aircraft carrier), we see an exponential increase in American casualties. Once we have finally won, casualties become infinite.

Way to get out in front of the boulder Donald!

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