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d a t e d w e e k l y !
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28
Mar 03
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Chronicling
the new Empire of America, the uber-Bully.
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Turd of the Week Richly
deserving, Senator Rick Santorum R-PA plucks this award away from the
See Stories for Details |
Move over French,
Gays now in the Crosshairs To demonstrate his
sensitivity and expertise on all things carnal, Senator Sanitarium did
not include bestiality, necrophilia and copraphagy among the equivalent
sins. The Republicans want to legislate your bedroom. I guess conservatives believe in individual rights for heterosexual white golfers only. |
Sponsors:
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How do you Solve
a Problem Like Korea?* This pundit freely admits to not understanding the big deal of multilateral vs. one on one talks between NK and US. Why does NK think multilateral is evil and why does US think one on one is evil? I suppose its a dissing-the-punk thing (can't we all just grow up a bit?). Nevertheless, Colin Powerless went Asiaward to engage in multilateral talks (Yay! we won the format war!) only to find the Pygmy engaging in levels of bellicosity that may even outpace our own! (How DARE he?!?!?!) Warping the Rummy-inspired logic, NK insists that the lesson learned from Iraq was that nations had to develop and presumably, threaten to launch, Weapons of Horrific Consequence (a registered trademark of sickofthiscrap.com) in order to avoid sharing the fate of fellow evil axis constituent, Iraq. Not to be outdone in the escalation of testosterone-laden invective, Colin Powerless shot back that we will not be intimidated by any punk-ass mothahfucka, especially one whose ass we can vaporize, then entomb in a bitch-slappin' 3 foot layer of glazed silicate stretching from the Yellow Sea to the East Korea Sea (Whoops, sorry 'bout that Seoul!). Word up. Well the Pygmy is crazy, has nukes and possesses no regard for the well-being of his people, the planet or other humans, so I guess that means it's okay to taunt him. Ya know, one of these days the Bush doctrine of Preemptive Asswhoopage and Belligerent Trash Talkery is going to backfire. When it does, will anyone be left to point out its shortcomings? *the editor apologized to long time readers who recall this headline used before. A combination of a severe lack of imagination and self-congratulations of a clever headline leads the CSP to recycle the text. |
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US To Define What
Kind of Iraqi Democracy is Allowed Lt. Gen. David McKiernan warned that any challenges to American authority would be answered with arrest. Arrest? the Iraqis have suffered decades of brutality, two wars visited upon them by the most devastating forces in the world and you're threatening them with arrest? Oooh, that's soooo scary! Meanwhile, the Shiites, communists and half-annointed leaders are quickly seizing opportunity to pull a series of Al Haigs amid the American inspired chaos. |
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New Nucular Bunker
Buster! It's one thing to
let the Genie out of the bottle. It's another to send him to |
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Christie Todd Whitman
Gets Chauffeurs with PhDs A comprehensive list of dos and donts has been provided to the investigators, including:
Clearly, the agency empowered to protect the environment is ensuring that taxpayers' monies are most effectively used by utilizing these professionals in various roles, thus obviating the need to pay for separate security forces. Further, by taking them away from the tawdry business of prosecuting polluters, we are spending less money on the justice system. It's a win-win! Too bad Senator Sanitarium has the Turd of the Week so tightly in his clutches. |
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While You Weren't
Looking... His lawyer, the well known conservative Bruce Fein, spent much of the defense resources castigating the Baltimore District Attorney's by comparing them to the Nazi's Gestapo. Now, a gentle backtracking is in order for the Porn Star-Maker and his Rotweiller attorney. Mr. Delgaudio's resume includes heading the conservative fund-raising organization, the Legal Affairs Council, which paid for Ollie North's defense and Paula Jones's travel and accommodations in appearing before the Conservative Political Action Committee Conference in Washington. He is the president of the National Security Center Inc. and chairman and director of the United States Intelligence Council. Delgaudio was one of the prime sponsors (along with the Christian Voice, ConservativeHQ.com, California Republican Assembly, Judicial Watch and other organizations dedicated to preventing the moral decay of modern society) of the Western Conservative Conference. The conference was led by the Rev. Lou Sheldon, head of the Traditional Values Coalition. In their own words: With an emphasis on the restoration of the values needed to maintain strong, unified families, Traditional Values Coalition focuses upon issues such as education, homosexual advocacy, family tax relief, pornography, the right to life and religious freedom. From www.traditionalvalues.org Whoopsie! Information source: The Washington Post |
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Antiquities? You
Want Antiquities Protected? |
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Ashcroft Looking
to Break Amnesty International's Top Ten Pat Buchanan is having a wet dream somewhere. (Brain Flush! Brain Flush!) |
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The
Price Paid The pundits of Sick of this Crap deeply regrets the loss of: |
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JAMES F. ADAMOUSKI THOMAS MULLIN ADAMS JAMAAL R. ADDISON TRISTAN N. AITKEN STEPHEN JOHN ALLBUTT SAPPER LUKE ALLSOPP BRIAN E. ANDERSON JAY AUBIN ANDREW JULIAN AVILES CHAD E. BALES STEVE BALLARD RYAN BEAUPRE WILFRED D. BELLARD MICHAEL E. BITZ THOMAS A. BLAIR JEFFREY E. BOHR, JR STEVON A. BOOKER MATHEW G. BOULE SHAUN ANDREW BRIERLEY HENRY L. BROWN JOHN E. BROWN LARRY K. BROWN BRIAN RORY BUESING GEORGE EDWARD BUGGS TAMARIO D. BURKETT JACOB L. BUTLER JAMES W. CAWLEY JOHN CECIL KEMAPHOOM A. CHANAWONG THERREL S. CHILDERS DAVID JEFFREY CLARKE DONALD J. CLINE JR. AARON J. CONTRERAS SIMON CULLINGWORTH DANIEL FRANCIS J. CUNNINGHAM MICHAEL EDWARD CURTIN ERIC B. DAS WILBERT DAVIS ROBERT J. DOWDY RUBEN ESTRELLA-SOTO LLYWELYN KARL EVANS MARK A. EVNIN GEORGE A. FERNANDEZ THOMAS A. FOLEY III TRAVIS A. FORD DAVID K. FRIBLEY JOSE A. GARIBAY JUAN GUADALUPE GARZA JR. JONATHAN L. GIFFORD ARMANDO ARIEL GONZALEZ JESUS A. GONZALEZ JORGE A. GONZALEZ BERNARD G. GOODEN RICHARD A. GOWARD PHILIP D GREEN CHRISTIAN D. GURTNER JOSE GUTIERREZ PHILIP STUART GUY ERIK A. HALVORSEN SHOLTO HEDENSKOG LES HEHIR TERRY W. HEMINGWAY NICHOLAS M. HODSON LINCOLN D. HOLLINSAID MATTY HULL NOLEN R. HUTCHINGS GREGORY P. HUXLEY, JR. SCOTT JAMAR EVAN T. JAMES WILLIAM A. JEFFRIES HOWARD JOHNSON II MICHAEL VANN JOHNHNSON JR. DEVON D. JONES PHILLIP A. JORDAN JEFFREY J. KAYLOR BRIAN KENNEDY JAMES M. KIEHL ANTONY KING EDWARD J. KORN BRADLEY S. KORTHAUS MICHAEL V. LALUSH MARC A. LAWRENCE NINO D. LIVAUDAIS RYAN P. LONG CHRISTOPHER R MADDISON JOSEPH B. MAGLIONE KEVIN BARRY MAIN IAN KEITH MALONE JOHN W. MARSHALL FRANCISCO A. MARTINEZ FLORES JOHNNY VILLAREAL MATA DONALD C. MAY, JR. JOSEPH P. MAYEK BRIAN D. MCGINNIS BRIAN M. MCPHILLIPS JESUS MARTIN ANTONIO MEDELLIN JOSEPH MENUSA GIL MERCADO JASON M. MEYER JASON DAVID MILEO ANTHONY S. MILLER GEORGE A. MITCHELL CHRIS MUIR PIPER CHRISTOPHER MUZVURU KEVIN G. NAVE PATRICK R. NIXON DONALD S. OAKS JR. PATRICK T. O'DAY ERIC J. ORLOWSKI DAVID EDWARD OWENS JR. FERNANDO PADILLA-RAMIREZ MICHAEL F. PEDERSEN LORI PIESTEWA FREDERICK E. POKORNEY JR KELLEY S. PREWITT RANDALL S. REHN BRENDON C. REISS DIEGO FERNANDO RINCON DUANE R. RIOS RUSSELL B. RIPPETOE JOHN T. RIVERO TODD J. ROBBINS STEVEN MARK ROBERTS ROBERT M. RODRIGUEZ RANDAL KENT ROSACKER BRANDON J. ROWE BENJAMIN W. SAMMIS GREGORY P. SANDERS SCOTT D. SATHER CHRISTOPHER SCOTT SEIFERT IAN SEYMOUR KARL SHEARER ERIK H. SILVA BRANDON SLOAN THOMAS J. SLOCUM EDWARD SMITH ERIC A. SMITH PAUL R. SMITH JESUS A. SUAREZ DEL SOLAR RODERIC A. SOLOMON BARRY 'BAZ' STEPHEN ROBERT A. STEVER GREGORY STONE MARK STRATFORD RIAYAN A. TEJEDA BRANDON S. TOBLER KELAN JOHN TURRINGTON DONALD WALTERS JASON WARD KENDALL DAMON WATERS-BEY MICHAEL RUSSELL CREIGHTON WELDON PHILIP WEST NATHAN D. WHITE WILLIAM W. WHITE DAVID RHYS WILLIAMS EUGENE WILLIAMS JAMES WILLIAMS MICHAEL J. WILLIAMS ANDREW S. WILSON |
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...who are the Allied known fatalities to date (04/21/03). We also mourn the untold Iraqi dead whom we won't likely have names of ever, although thanks to the Iraqbodycount.net, we know the numbers to between the two figures of . |
Legal Disclaimer: All information on this site has been carefully considered as to its inflammatory value against the backdrop of the prevailing standards of cultural depravity. Research is spotty at best. The resulting verbiage, though dead-on and wickedly insightful (not to mention inciteful) should be considered pure satire, if for no other reason than to deflect lawsuits. |