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The Last Bastion of America's Liberal Media

28 July 2003

Turd of the Week

Ed Gillespie, come on into the inner circle of steamy turdom! The new chair of the RNC tells America that Bush offers "bipartisan accomplishments" and "a steady hand" versus the Dem's playing the "politics of fear." Yep, Prez Bush has never tried to leverage Americans' fear for political purposes, especially when trumping up the Iraqi war.

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Civilian casualties update
This data is an accounting of civilian deaths in Iraq to date.
See Iraqbodycount.net for statistical methodologies


Growing fat off juicy Iraqi rebuildin' contracts. Did you know the bin Laden group is one of our top investors?

screw all the other stockholders, we're cashing out!

Hey, what do you know? We make money from American militarily screwed up countries in the Middle East!

We're already negotiating with the “new Iraqi democracy” for oil rights!

Selling weapons all over the globe to ensure civilian death and instability which in turn ensures a strong market for years and years...


Brothers Finish Farewell Tour
Usay and Quday are blasted into bits, thereby re-justifying the war. Their constituent remnants will be reassembled into barely recognizable corpses and paraded around Tikrit, Baghdad and Mosul in a medieval display of our badassery. Rummy will make sure the images are piped into Pyongyang, Tehran and Damascus with a subtle "your face here" Post-in note© stuck to Usay's remaining nose bits.

Well they're gone and in most respects, that's a good thing. Is it worth the cost of invasion in human, political and financial duress? I sure doubt it, though some will claim that this interim victory was reason enough. Some once trusted bodyguard will soon be savoring his cool $30,000,000 (before occupational taxes!) on the Mediterranean.

So what's the rub? A couple of things actually. Ideally, we may have considered following international laws, antiquated though that sounds these days. But it is clear that American forces were empowered as judge, jury and executioners, which runs afoul of those pesky Geneva conventions. Oh wait, I forgot this isn't a war, it's a "regime change." And by giving it a new name, we get to invent any rules of conduct. It would have been best to let the people they so horribly preyed upon judge them, but it wouldn't make for good head-on-a-pike footage, so it didn't happen.

Rub #2 is the presumed diminution of hostile resistance with the thug brothers out of the way. We will soon find out if the resistance is simply Saddam fear/bribe inspired or whether it is a deep mistrust of American motives that supersedes bribery or threat. I suspect that each day of screwing up, that balance shifts more toward the mistrust side.

Warhawks are touting this development as an antidote to the yellowcake fiasco. Huh?

According to Rummy, the decision to display the pics was a very easy one to make, which begs the question: Has this sanctimonious asshole ever agonized over any decision in his life?

Professor Pissed! - Bush Lies and Other Sundry Tidbits
What a week. With increasing pressure from Democrats and those oddballs in the US and beyond who actually prefer hearing speeches that don't contain blatant fabrications, Bush prefers to blame others for his proclamation that Saddam had sought uranium from Nigeria. Professor Pissed wonders what he would say if pressed about his also false statements connecting Saddam directly to al Qaeda (a connection that a joint congressional committee investigating 9/11 has shown to be nonexistent) -- statements that served to justify his sudden diversion of national attention to Iraq and our subsequent attacks.

Conveniently, just as (for the first time) the heat was beginning to reveal the threadbare competence of the Bush ideologues, who were frantically backpedalling, pointing the finger elsewhere, and hysterically denouncing Democrats for focusing so unfairly on a mere "sixteen words" out of Bush's illustrious three years of lies, the US military assassinated Saddam's two sons. Suddenly Bush's claims that the war in Iraq is over have been thrown out of the window and replaced with the more useful insistence that we're winning it -- again.

AOL users can click right on the photos of the grotesquely gashed and bloody corpses of the Hussein brothers right off their welcome screens (today, the hot button to view the "Hussein bodies" is positioned right next to a photo of a fat white man in a Santa hat with the headline "Get a Start on Christmas").

And, still, the Bush administration purveys the idea that the public dissemination of these photographs will endear us to the Iraqis. As one Iraqi (a computer engineer named Jassim al-Robai), interviewed by an Associated Press reporter, put it, "This is a U.S. ploy to try to break the spirit of the resistance." Al-Robai and others denied the veracity of the images so the US army invited Iraqi reporters to come view the bodies in person. Nothing like a "real" dead body to make a point -- even Dirty Hairy knew that.

And, still, the U.S. media focuses only on the supposedly triumphant dimension of this event, as the Bush administration and (more understandably) the army would want it to be viewed, rather than attending to the horror of the larger situation Bush has created by attacking a country that, by all appearances, had no weapons of mass destruction nor weapons-grade uranium. Nor does the press seem to want to put much pressure on by pointing out the bizarre inappropriateness of the US army's global advertisement of these images of death (one has only to imagine the shock and outrage that would ensue if a photograph of a dead US soldier or officer, not to mention a member of the Bush family (the self-appointed monarchy of the US), were broadcast by the Iraqis, whose act would surely be viewed as an example of their primitive level of moral reasoning).

(Meanwhile, Pat Robertson, responding to the Supreme Court's striking down Texas anti-sodomy laws, prays in a frenzy of Christian righteousness for God to get rid of liberal (?are there any?) and moderate Court justices. Once retired (or assassinated?), the God-appointed right-wing president could replace them with God-supported right wingers.)

For a few days there it looked as if the major American newspapers might actually do some reporting and push the Bush administration to fess up to their endless stream of lies rather than simply rewrite White House press releases to provide their stories.

Let's hope no more cowboy diversions keep the really important news from the public. Bush needs to go down in flames for his lies, which have cost thousands of lives (and continue to do so).

The good Professor is about to head east, still rabid with anger at American hubis. We can't wait for PP's word from the Old World.

A New Helping of Field Greens?
Lord help us all. Just when it appears that the GOPs are struggling knee deep in a molasses-miring morass of their own molding, the Green party starts making perky talk about fielding a presidential candidate in 2004. Four years ago the Greens made the claim that there were no substantive diffs between Gore and Bush. While this pundit feels recent Dem offerings, including Gore to be distinctly to the right of my preferences, it is clear to anyone not seduced by matching funds monies that the actual gap has turned out to be enormous.

Four years ago, the apparent gap between the W & Al was shrunk in no small part by the "compassionate conservatism" lipservice packaging offered up by the Bushies. Reality has revealed the compash conserve claptrap as insidious marketeering of a system which seeks to destroy social services, imperil the environment, widen the gap between the very rich and everybody else and transform the world into paranoid subjects of our global dominion. Say what you will about Gore, post-9/11 America, and the world, would be a vastly different place with Gore at the helm for the past two and a half years.

The Greens are partially correct in stating they shouldn't shoulder the blame for Gore's loss in 2000. It was Gore's to lose and he let the election get close enough that the GOP was able to employ blatantly illegal, unethical and unconstitutional forces to steal it from Albert. But for the Greens to still insist that the Democratic alternatives to Bush offer little substantive difference is an abject lie motivated by nothing more than building their little empire of fringe belly-achers.

While I agree with most of the Green positions, I beg them to recognize the absolute imperative of dethroning the insidious menace that is Bush. To that end, they must support the Democratic alternative. Then, I promise I'll vote Green in 2008.

But This Time I Really Mean it, There Really IS a Wolf!
In a recent Q&A session after meeting with Italy's uber-evil Berlusconi, Bush told reporters that Syria and Iran are harboring and assisting terrorists. "This behavior is completely unacceptable, and states that support terror will be held accountable," says Bush, oblivious of the insipid irony of his one trick pony of foreign policy.

What's really sickening is that it's possible that Syria and Iran are in fact abetting groups that pose a true threat to American interests. Tragically however, Bush's maniacal rush to war against Iraq and the means by which he sold that war, are undermining his own administration's ability to face these potential threats.

First, we just plain are running out of soldiers. North Korea knows this and is all the more emboldened in their nuclear pursuits. States sponsoring groups that pose serious threats to America can act with greater assurance that America is committing her military force too broadly and indiscriminately. Simply speaking, the saber to be rattled is looking more like a pocket knife.

Secondly, Chicken Little has squandered his credibility on the impending sky-fall. Well, it may be that Iraq doesn't have WMD like Chicken Little said they were, nor were they pursuing nuclear capability like Chicken Little said they were, nor were they sponsoring Al Qaeda like Chicken Little said they were, but this time it's really, really, really true!


Joseph Wilson - the Smear Campaign Begins
The Republican Party has a great history of smearing those who disfavor it. From Claude Pepper's sister being outed as a "practicing thespian" by his Republican Senate opponent (in fairness, Pepper's sister was involved in the theatrical arts at the time) to Nixon's Committee to Reelect the President (CREEP) hiring African-Americans to call voters in the middle of the night and ask them in heavy Ebonics to vote for Muskie, the GOP won't hesitate to attack the messenger if it doesn't like the message.

So it is with Joseph Wilson, the guy Cheney requested the CIA send to investigate the Niger yellowcake claims back in 2002. Not only were Wilson's findings not supportive of the Saddam nuke-fest depictions, he had the audacity to publicly challenge the overall picture of Iraq's threat to America.

Now the White House is leaking information that Mr. Wilson got his job at the CIA through his wife who is a secret operative. It doesn't matter that Bush is divulging classified information about operative identities (which is a felony, by the way, unless you're the White House), what matters is to attack any voice of dissent.

Post-Mortem: The 9/11 Findings
After nearly two years of starving an independent inquiry into 9/11, the Bush administration was still able to remove lots of verbiage from the congressional report into intelligence failures that led to the September 11th catastrophes. The result is scathing nonetheless and finds enormous institutional fault with the FBI and to a lesser extent, the CIA and the National Security functions in both Clinton and Bush administrations, noting that the departing NSC head, Sandy Burger told Condi on the way out that terrorism would be her biggest challenge, with Al Qaeda at the top of the worry list. What did the Bush White House know on Sept 10? They aren't saying.

Curiously absent from this document, is any mention of Iraq. That is, despite an exhaustive evaluation of the events surrounding 9/11, the Al Qaeda sponsors and sympathetic governments, Iraq is not named as even remotely connected with Al Qaeda.

Now Saudi Arabia, on the other hand, is said to be the subject of numerous pages omitted from the public viewing of this document, "for national security purposes..." Oh... I forgot... they're Cheney and Bush's pals.

FCC, Bush to Get De-Fanged?
Recent polling informs us that among respondents who understand the FCC recent pro-conglomeration ruling, fully 90% are not in favor of it. Whenever you get the National Organization of Women and the National Rifle Association holding hands on an issue, you've got what's called in political circles "a broad coalition." Bush and his FCC Chronies, including the chair- a guy named Powell with an uncanny resemblance to our Secretary of State, have tried to quietly push the limits of monopolization up from 35% ownership in a market to 45% and allow cross local ownership of TV, newspaper and radio. The one little detail they forgot was how to explain that this in any way would benefit people who aren't shareholders in Viacomm, News, Inc. or Disney.

Now Congress is showing strong bi-partisan support for ramming the legislation back up Bush's asshole. Bush has responded by threatening a veto, potentially dislodging the legislation from his asshole and ramming it up the public's. Opponents of Bush are salivating (not at the asshole imagery) at the thought of such a blatant support of commercial gigantism in the face of bipartisan legislative and public opposition.

Please, Mr. President, give us this stark example of your Fat Cat over Joe Sixpack sensibilities, so we can use it against you in commercials that will be shown on... on... ummm... on...

Uh oh...

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