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17
Mar 03
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Chronicling
the new Empire of America, the uber-Bully.
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Turd of the Week Ari Fleisher! Come on Down! Ari is this week's winner after his latest rationale on the need to invade. See full stories |
Grab Some Popcorn
America. We're Going to War! And we learned nothing new. Same old shit, same bag and everything. Nothing has changed:
How fitting that he who did not get the votes for the presidency now pursues a war in which he did not get UN votes. As a member of the hyper-privileged class, the concept of earning the things he desires (a baseball team, Yale admittance, the Presidency, killing Iraqis) is foreign to him. No doubt American media will be prevented from displaying the true horrors of the terror we will reign upon the Iraqi people. But when it's time to show Saddam's mechanisms of torture and terror in maintaining power (and there certainly are such mechanisms), rest assured the American media will have a front row seat. ...and the stock market soars. |
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Coalition of the
Wilting With the coalition looking starrier and stripier than ever and the world waking up to the minor reality of Saddam's threat, there is a growing recognition that Bush's main policy initiatives were cast in 1992 in a hard impenetrable shell that protects them from the slings and arrows of current events. The whole war on Iraq and the tax cut push are becoming increasingly clear as programs whose impetus has been a given from day one, with unfolding global events interpreted by the Ministry of Propaganda as to their value in advancing these two great inevitabilities. Bush noted in a recent radio address that it is the 15th year anniversary of Saddam's gassing of the innocent citizens of the Kurdish village of Halabja. Too bad he forgot to mention what that at that very moment, his Daddy, Rummy, Wolfie, Dick Cheney and a cadre of other current cronies were giving the same despot the thumbs up, while they sent him Anthrax stocks, artillery weapons, money and the land mines which have killed and permanently crippled thousands of Iraqi children. Just another ugly reminder that US/Iraqi policy has never been, nor appears to be for the foreseeable future, a matter of ethics. So if no one is going to stand by Bush in his tiny wet-paint surrounded corner, then dammit, we have to wage war against the largely harmless on our own! But don't come begging for that sweet Iraqi crude, or as we'll soon know it... "Freedom Juice!" |
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Why We Have to
Invade, and Quick So, it seems our troops need to invade because their presence puts them within range of our enemy, who could actually (gasp!) fight back against them, the currs! |
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Axis of Evil Noticeably
Imbalanced But I guess real threats are no match for murky evil images drawn by our leader who can make ethereal platitudes about mustache and beard in an unholy and implausible alliance of convenience. |
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War Crimes Oh wait, the war started in 1991... Yeah that's right. We're invading to continue our defense of Kuwait. |
Legal Disclaimer: All information on this site has been carefully considered as to its inflammatory value against the backdrop of the prevailing standards of cultural depravity. Research is spotty at best. The resulting verbiage, though dead-on and wickedly insightful (not to mention inciteful) should be considered pure satire, if for no other reason than to deflect lawsuits. |