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16-dec-02
Chronicling the new Empire of America, the uber-Bully.
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Turd of the Week

Trent Lott edges out a feisty Bush nuke threat to wistfully embrace the good ol' days when Strom and company sought to protect the south from oppressive anti-lynching legislation.

Dec 15, 2002


Weapons of Mass Distraction
So, where are we again on the war on "terr?" Well, let's see... Osama is chilling in Pakistan, where we are pretty sure he is, but we can't get him because our good buddy Musharaf doesn't really rule that part of Pakistan; John Ashcroft is reading all our credit card statements to make sure we're not buying nitrogen fertilizer or copies of the Koran; We're threatening nuclear holocaust against whomever decides to use chemical or biological weapons against us, oh yes, and whomever happens to be in the thousand square miles downwind of them; North Korea is playing us like a sick joke and we're playing right along with them; Meanwhile, we are getting ready to repudiate all the UN fact finding of the weapons inspection of Iraq so we can kick the ass of the guy who threatened to kill the first Bush.

...and guess what? America is eatin' it up!


screw all the other stockholders, we're cashing out!


Hey, what do you know? We make money from American militarily screwed up countries in the Middle East!


We're already negotiating with the “new Iraqi democracy” for oil rights!


Selling weapons all over the globe to ensure civilian death and instability which in turn ensures a strong market for years and years...

Trent Lott for Imperial Wizard!
Whoops! He said it again! The helmet-haired Trent loses track of the decades and waxes wistfully on what could have been if only the Rebels had won it all. Despite minor hand-wringing among the image-conscious Republicans, Lott seems destined to retain power, owing largely to the fact that his party knows the voters don't care about anything other than who wins on The Bachelor and what entrenched freedoms we can squash in this round of the war on Terr'.

Now the Repubs are engineering a backlash against the protesting Dems. So to review for the kiddies: the Majority leader is fawning over the most entrenched symbol of racial hatred in American politics and those objecting most vehemently are being vilified.

Please help keep this racist at the helm of his party, so he can more accurately represent the monster behind the Republican facade of lip service to compassionate values.

War on Terr, part 19, section 12
Well, the response to 9/11 has been many things... No wait, it hasn't really. It has pretty much been just a knee-jerk conventional military response to a completely non-military threat.
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